TGIF!

What a bloody week it has been!  TGIF indeed. The rest of this year is going to be insane. We've got huge hearings going out on (long term), one being Conrad Black. Yes, the Conrad Black. 

I'm currently on the train home, writing this, as well as doing my midyear performance review for a meeting with my boss on Monday at 11 am. Not sure how I'll get it done in time but hey, whatever. It's the weekend and I don't give a shit because I'm off the clock now. 

Over the holidays, I read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. What a good book that was, I was literally reading it any chance I had, sometimes even in the rental on our way out to dinners, even if it was just a few pages. I'm eager to see the movie, which is out today. My mom, Jeff and I are going to see it next Tuesday night. Should be interesting because I'd heard she rewrote the ending for David Fincher who produced the movie. The ending is pretty epic in the book so I look forward to how they changed it. Books that are translated into movies often pale in comparison with to what's written, most often you just can't capture that level of detail in 1.5 to 2 hours. But, having said that, I've heard Gone Girl is 2.5 hours so that's promising. Please Ben Affleck, don't let me down with your character. 

I also downloaded her first book, Dark Places, and it's just as good as Gone Girl. 

Anyways, that's enough babbling for now.

Have a fabulous weekend all ;) xo

Life and Stress

Man am I ever stressed at work.  I wrote yesterday on my Fb wall:

"After having been in such a beautiful paradise for two weeks, I believe the way we live in North America and this constant "go-go-go" mindset, it is really no place to live. I feel like I've been back for 6 months, not just six days.

 

Really wanting to be an ex-pat and to give a big FU to life here."

 

[...]

 

"I don't just want to exist, I want to LIVE. I don't want to cut myself short on an existence I look back on and know I could've done better or more than just existing to earn a pay cheque. It takes a toll. I know there are pros and cons to any country in which you live but I think living more simple is part of it. Ah just tired of this grind. I'm 30 yet some days I feel like I'm 80. Having said that, I take nothing for granted and I'm truly blessed. I know that much is true. "

 

And so before I went home from work yesterday, Jeff called me and he asked how my day was going.... Well, Jesus, had I known that I have to keep a smile on my face and say nothing and everything is just honky dory, I wouldn't have said shit fuck all.  But, that's not being REAL.  And you know what? I've worked since I was 14 years old, always having anywhere from one to THREE jobs simultaneously.  So what if I have dreams and want to "retire" from this corporate life of hell in ten years?  I'll have 15 years behind me at a "government" and a pension, a Canada pension (small) and RRSPs for when I turn 65.  Who the hell knows if I'll be alive at 65 for Christ sakes.  It seems that every five years I'm burning out on the job, working for crazy insane Bay Street law firms or just busy places where I feel like I'm doing two or three person's jobs, yet we hired an admin late last year to help us out and she doesn't do much of anything other than chat to co-workers for 60% of the day.  Must. Be. Nice.  I know life is what you make of it and all that other jazz but I refuse to just exist in this world and then die.  I want to LIVE and enjoy every single second, travel, contribute meaningful shit to this world, not just paper-push for my entire life.  Even if it means living a more simple life... you know?

 

So my answer to Jeff's question, "How's your day going?" turned into a brief spat at home last night, which wasn't much fun.  I just hate being told that I complain all the time when that's a complete crock of shit.  So what if I have one bad day a month or every couple of weeks.  I guess I'm just not allowed to feel? and maybe I just need to shut my mouth and pretend.  Yep, because that's healthy..

 

Sighhhhhhh... Sorry for the rant.  Needed to get that out.