Monday, April 4, 2011

So Jeff and I had a good chat/meltdown last week.  We both got some much needed things off our chest, which was a good thing.  All in all, productive discussion.  I really, really need to work on myself though.  I'm very down on myself, and in turn, I take it out on Jeff, which is wrong and misdirected.  So I disabled Facebook because I didn't want the distraction. I just want some peace and quiet to reflect on myself and perhaps start to think of things differently and myself.  That itself could change my whole outlook on life.  So I'm trying to make a valiant effort, I really am.  I just didn't realise how much it affected Jeff, even me coming home every day bitter.  I didn't think I did, but I do and that's a HUGE eye opener.  I think things have just been adding up and I've become resentful when I should just take it as it is and accept it and overcome it.  I should question myself, "Is it really worth getting upset/pissed off/irked about?", and more than likely the answer will be "no."  So I just need some inner reflection.  I like to think of myself as a caring, nice person but lately the bitterness has overshadowed that.

Our weekend wasn't too bad.  Saw Jay, his kids and Jeff's parents yesterday afternoon/evening.  They're off to Florida in a couple of days and won't be back until early June. 

This coming weekend I'd like to get the car all washed and nice, take the kids to the dog park and maybe go on a hike.  Jeff's going to be busy the next few weeks shooting a video for a friend's band, too.

That's about all I have time for.  Peace :)

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