Day 17 - Five Things on My Bucket List

1. Go to Kenya. Do I even need to explain why? I'd love to be able to say I've seen one Elephant in the wild before there are no more. Sad, but it's happening. Elephants are being butchered and babies are left mother-less. I just watched a video this morning of three babies that died after being rescued by DSWT and their efforts to save them.... It just brings me to my knees. So many lost souls, all because some bastard wants a ivory trinket or a symbol of status.

Please google David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust and Amboseli National Park and Kenya Wildlife Services. They're doing some amazing work, research and out in the field saving many orphans whose parents have been killed. 

2. Quit my corporate job downtown and do what I love - look after animals.  It's not always glamorous but its a rewarding "job" and there's nothing more that tugs at my heart when I have a happy little face excited to see me beyond the door.  As weird as it sounds, I feel most 'at home' and comfortable with animals and they are truly my happy place. 

3. Get our Advanced Open Water diving license. We were going to do while were on Barbados this September but with about 5 days worth of diving, coupled with the course and all that, it'd be about $1,700. And plus we haven't read the materials ahead of time so that would mean we have to do the class portion as well, which will tack on more time. Next trip.... We just wanted to enjoy the time but not have a tight schedule the entire 14 days.

4. Adopt a Great Dane. Such a special breed Danes are. I am head over heals in love with them. I'm particularly enamoured with Harlequins but quite honestly I'd have any colour. And while is love to get a puppy, the first year of their life can be difficult, lots of hurdles to overcome but frankly I'd like to adopt because so many are given up because people don't have a clue what life involves having these gentle giants in your life. Speaking of Danes, I get to have a sleep over on Friday night with 2 Goldens, a Golden Lab and a "fawniquin" colour Dane, the same fella I looked after a few weeks ago. Soooo excited!! :)

5. Own a house. We own a condo but not in a position to afford an astronomically priced home in the area we live. 

Day 16 - My views on my outward appearence...

--- Jesus, this post is now two days old. lol ---

Hmm.  Well, we all know that I practically live at the gym.  I now go to the gym about 5 times a week and I've all but nixed the weekend visits because I think I was just overdoing it a bit much.  And sister needs a break every now and then.  What drives me to work out is 1) it may suck while I'm doing what I'm doing at the gym, but that endorphin/adrenalin high after, that's some awesome shit right there! 2) I feel good doing it. 3) It breaks up my day and the monotony of grabbing lunch out or going shopping, what most people do that I work with.  Sorry, not my cup of tea.  I'm infamous for blowing people off for lunch to go to the gym.  4) My dad's parents inspire me to get my ass to the gym..  They were really large, obese people and I never want to look or feel like that in my life.

I'll be quick about this cause I'm super busy but I love my eyes and love my mega-quads. :)

I don't weigh myself at all, I find it just too stressful and I go by how I feel and how my clothes feel.  Fuck numbers.  I'm much heavier than I used to be but I'm happy with where I'm at.  I couldn't be any lighter or skinnier unless I literally starved myself.

So embrace what you got ladies :)

Picture of Baxter tuckered out from being at my moms and a picture of downtown Toronto in the fog :)

 

Day 9 - Take a Photograph of the Town you Live in #26DayBloggingChallenge Robin Williams

This is the view from our condo in the town we live in.  Lots of construction every direction you look in (but I chose to take a pic of the beautiful green trees we see when we look south). The town is a nice place to live, not too far from Toronto but away from the concrete jungle and all the hustle and bustle of the buzzing city. 

I've lived here now for 25 years, having moved from Toronto when I was 5 going on 6 years old.  I work in downtown Toronto so it's nice to come back up home to the suburbs, which is an hour's train ride on the commuter train.

I'm going to copy Jade here with places I'd love to visit:

- Tibet & Nepal
- The Maldives
- India - I would love to do my yoga teacher training at an ashram there
- Grand Canyon, Arizona - Would love to camp out there, to see a sunrise and a sunset
- San Francisco, California
- Um hello, KENYA and Tanzania.  Um yeah obsessed with elephants over here, remember?
- I'd love to go back to Greece and the islands.  I want to show Jeff how beautiful it is.
- the East Coast of Canada (more than just New Brunswick, where we visited Jeff's grandma for 2 days)
- Out West, Canada - Jasper, Banff, Victoria, Tofino
- Turks & Caicos - diving!
- Curacao - diving!
- Namibia - Gorillas!
- Democratic Republic of Congo - maybe one day these places will be safe to travel to
- Brazil
- Peru (Machu Picchu)
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I've been mourning the loss, like the rest of the world, of Robin Williams.  Complete and utter shock.  Okay, maybe not.  He had been in some dark places in his lifetime and of course, like everyone also knew, he had his demons with alcohol and drugs,  but man......I just can't believe it.  I just can't help but wonder just how dark of a place he was in moments before he took his life and just how profound the depth of his sadness and loneliness it must have been for him to not want to live another single day.....It's just so very sad......

Depression is a funny thing (okay not really funny), because it's like this deep, dark and dirty secret we hold onto and hide from those closest to us.  It's easier to smile or laugh then to truly reveal one's self and be completely vulnerable and exposed.  I don't think anyone has a fucking clue what its like unless you've been there in the depths yourself.  I've had thoughts before where I just don't want to live anymore or living is too hard with the pain and sadness.  I've never been at a point where I could physically do the deed, to me that's scary as shit and it's.....permanent.  Life is so bloody precious.  Here one minute and possibly gone the next.  We only get one chance and while at times life sucks and I just want to crawl into a whole and die (like how I felt yesterday), I'm not sure I would ever have the balls to kill myself.  You can feel like the only person on the planet that's suffering and that no one understands or gets it, but there's always, always someone or some place you can reach out to.  I've done it many of times and it's been a useful tool in my life but I guess not everyone feels like they can in fact do that or maybe they don't want to......It's selfish in a sense that it affects every facet of your life and the people within it, but man... How dare anyone comment or criticize someone that's done it and not know where the other person was coming from.  I'm sure nothing about their decision was easy and they felt truly in their heart of hearts that they had no other option or that they couldn't bare the pain any longer.  I get it.  I know many that don't, though.  It is just sad all around any which way you look at it.

If you're feeling stressed or lonely or sad or depressed, please talk to someone.  You never know, that someone may know exactly how you're feeling and been in your shoes before and can help you through those tough moments.  I know when my friend died almost two years ago, although I had known her for about 6 months, I felt robbed of a friendship with her when she died.  She didn't commit suicide but we met through her step-mom when she was going through some really tough times and I was there for her.  I could relate.  I could see me years ago where she stood.  And then one day, it was all taken and she was 20 years old.  Twenty friggin years old and she was gone and in heaven.  She was robbed of a full life.... She was this beautiful, beautiful person that was hurting deeply on the inside but I helped her in her darkest of times.....I'm eternally grateful for the little time I had with her but I'm still sad she's gone.......

Anyways, deep shit today.  That's all......

So there's this 26-day Blog Challenge that Jade is hosting and I thought, you know what, why not?  I'm getting a bit bored lately about what to write other than just chronicling what I'm doing, what I've done on such and such day or weekend. 

Here's the list of what each day's topics or discussions/pics are about:



I'll start off for day two, Tuesday, August 5th.  "What's in my makeup bag".......

So, obviously, I don't wear everything all at the same time but typically I put eyeliner and mascara on.  I feel like I look like I'm 12 years old if I don't because I have blond eyelashes and eyebrows for the most part.  Anything on my eyes makes them pop, though.  For work, I usually have eyeliner, mascara, a bit of stuff on my eyebrows and some powder.  I often wear a bit of neutral colours for eye shadow but not always.  I'm a bit of a creature of habit.  Unless I'm going somewhere or wanting to experiment, only then will I put on a bright colour or something different that catches the eye.  I've always loved make up but never been one of those with makeup that's literally caked on or you can see that they've got their "face on".

This is what I carry around with me, but I have much, much MORE makeup in a case (or several, I should say) at home.  On the upper left is Benefit Brow Zings.  It's not cheap but I shit you not, if you're not caking that stuff on, it'll last you well over a year.  Then there's Rimmel Quad eyeshadows, below that is a Loreal nail polish that I'm currently obsessed with.  MAC lipsticks (can't remember what they're called off hand as I write this but they're nude-like colours), Loreal Telescopic Shocking Extensions Mascara.  Love this stuff.  People always ask me if my eyelashes are real, to which the answer is YES.  I've never had fake eyelashes except for back in the modelling days when I used to do trade shows and conventions and they'd just cake shit all over you, it was actually quite gross.  Below that is my go-to neutral eyeshadow tones, I think I bought that brand at Rexall?  I just liked the shades.  Below that and working right to left is Physicians Formula "Mineral Tinted Moisturizer"... So I ended up buying this months ago when I had raging skin from the stupid allergic reactions I was having and my face looked wretched.  I'm not one for foundation but sometimes a girl needs some cover up and this stuff is alright.  Not great, but lets your skin breathe and that's all I cared about when I bought the sucker.  Beside that are my various liners, two liquid and one pencil.  And finally the NARS lip gloss.

And now it's Day three, Jade has already done her post, albeit because she IS in South African but I need to get on the ball. 

I had my hospital appointment this morning... FINALLY and needless to say, a bit disappointed because what I was told was nothing I hadn't heard or been told before.  And I had to insist for them to do some research and get back to me about any other similar drugs like that nightmare I was on so that in the future, I can avoid them if necessary.  Considering it was a drug reaction clinic, I was a bit pissed off that it seemed like water off a ducks bath that I had that many swelling episodes, all to do with my face and HEY! Maybe, just maybe I'm a bit concerned that should this shit ever happen again, it'll be WORSE than my previous episodes.  Swelling episodes typically are worse each time around.  Whatever, frankly I just want to forget this ever happened.  It was so traumatic and upsetting, not to mention frustrating and annoying. 

On a happy note, my friend Tara's wedding is just 3 days away!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!!!!

And a few pics from the weekend.  I haven't been snapping pictures as much as I used to....

At the range with Jeff and my father in law.