Thursday, November 7, 2013

November 7, 2013

Things have been better. I went to my doctor and talked to her and her senior Med student for over an hour and I'm not on track to better myself, those around me and my life as a whole. I can't keep doing this vicious cycle of self destruction. I need to treat myself better and those I love. My go to is to pug people away as a defense mechanism but it's really the opposite of what I want. Just sometimes, it's ... Just comfortable shutting everyone out and being alone and being with my thoughts. But those are eating me alive. I need to learn to let go instead I simply saying I have. My words and my actions and behaviors aren't in sync with one another.
So I've been feeling sick since I went to the doctor on new meds and I will be going into a cognitive behavior therapy program. I'm making positive steps forward.
Today I'm off to a conference for work. Going to have to get Marah to nudge me if I space out. These meds are intense! But apparently after a month the side effects subside. I look high because y pupils are crazy dilated!! It's kind of funny yet kind of creepy lol
I'm petsitting this weekend but off from noon onwards on Sunday for my 30th birthday. Crazy how time flies!
Here's a few pics of pups, and my new hair cut.
Love, light and happiness,

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