He fights so fucking dirty... ARGH I normally don't write a blog in the middle of an argument but he isn't here, but rather we're arguing over text while he's at the drive in with his 2 friends trying to guilt trip me for not being there but plans suddenly changed and yet EVERYONE knew this afternoon the clients I had to visit so there was no negotiating me being able to go, it just wasn't going to happen because spots get taken early... ah what does it matter.  It's always something, anything...everything, isn't it?  I'm really getting irritated and frustrated that I'm always blamed for everything.

He feels alone.  I don't understand how or why.  I ask him to do this thing or that thing, sometimes he does or doesn't want to do with me, or if he wants to try new things... like fuck don't get me wrong, I enjoy yoga.  That is something that we don't do as a couple nor can I ever seeing it as such, even if I wanted to.. I just don't see Jeff getting yoga like that, ya know?  So there's that, I go to yoga classes and enjoy that and so what, if it makes me a better person than wouldn't that be a good thing?  I know that I clean the yoga studio for 3-4 hours a week for unlimited yoga but how is that bad? It's not like I come home and he's in bed and I don't see him at all.  Not at all.  Or there's my dog walking/pet sitting job.  That is usually one weekend at least a month but sometimes 2 if things are busy or I'm covering someone's weekend  But I always, always ask if it's okay if I do something and frankly, I don't even have to but I do it as a courtesy because I care what he thinks.  I just don't get out it seems like he gets insanely jealous when I'm out and doing one of these things or out for ONCE with a friend...like my god, I'm not running around rampant, so how can I make him feel alone? I dote on him all the time, we're not frigid, we talk, we joke... so what gives.  Tell me HOW, because I just don't get it...

Sorry I know I'm rambling but I just don't get it.  I'm not a genius, I know I'm not a peach, there's alot of things that I don't know or I'm stubborn or stupid, but I don't get how the one person I adore, that I'm always talking to, texting, thinking of whatever, says he feels alone.

When it's good, it's fan-freaking-tastic.  But when it's not, it sucks.  Really, really sucks.

Yoga in the morning in the park/  ARGH there's a slow fly inside our condo and it's driving me bonkers! Ahhh!

Anyways, they are still out, it's almost 11.  If they all come back from the drive in after the first movie, they'll be back by 12:30 I'm thinking, almost 1.. Otherwise, prob by 2 am.  I think I'm going to bed soon.  Been up since 6 am and have to visit the three cats near L.W.  Must visit Krissy early in the morning to turn on her radio and open her blinds and give her food for the day until I go back to see her.  I took some pretty cool pictures and video of her today.  She was spectacular.  Quiet when I came in, a few minutes to warm up and the second I opened her age, no hesitation on her part, she stuck her foot out and let me take her our of her cage.  Needless to say she was all over the place, singing, dancing, yelling, screaming, letting me kiss her cheeks and beak (!!).  She was also checking out my freckles, which was pretty funny to see.  Definitely not a shy girl but man oh man, she was not happy when I left her. The screaming that ensued....oof.  I could hear it getting into the car parked out front on their curb.  lol

Ok that's enough ranting and raving and I'm friggin exhausted and have to do this all over again tomorrow. xo