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You may feel like you "shouldn't" have to fight anymore...because you know each other so well. Or that you "shouldn't" have to deal with big challenges...because you're settled now. Or worse, you may even feel like you "shouldn't" ever feel bad about having issues...because you're "lucky to have found someone."
The author was so right, that IS a recipe for failure. And the article further discusses ways to reignite that spark that you once had. One of them being knowing how to give constructive criticism when something annoys or frustrates you. Not yelling or criticizing (like I have been known to do). Here is a good example of how that should play out:
You: "Hey [your partner's name]...
Can I give you some feedback on something? It's okay if you give me some push back."
Partner: "Okay."
You: "Whenever you leave the dishes on the counter after I cook dinner, I feel frustrated because I think that you don't care about what I did for you, or keeping our kitchen clean. I know you're not doing this to hurt me or frustrate me, but I wanted to bring it up so we can figure out a solution together."
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When I'm talking to Jeff about what's bothering me or frustrating me, I most often say things like, "You always _______" or "You never ________________", which both never go over well because they're dripping in negativity and it sets a tone of where the conversation is headed, blaming and accusatory without being direct, but not abrasive or going to end up hurting feelings.
No matter what, every relationship requires effort and work and I always need to remind myself that men do have feelings too. Ok, not always but deep down they feel, they don't always run on auto pilot. I need to remember that my relationship is a garden and must be constantly nourished: without water, light, or food, it will wither. All good things take work in order to thrive. After 13 and a half years together (and over 6 years married), I still need to work at it.
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Weekend was fabulous! Went home around lunch on Friday and spent the afternoon with him and evening with my mom shopping. Saturday morning I got up bright and early, showered, made coffee and made pancakes for Jeff and I to enjoy together before I headed out to Collingwood for the next 24 hours with three of my (girl) friends. We left around 9 a.m. and got coffee for the road. We had our ears chatted off the entire flippin' car ride (but whatever). We went to the liquor store first to get some bevvies to drink at the hotel. Next stop: Scandinave Spa. This place was like a cozy chalet in the middle of nowhere, nestled among the beautiful colours of fall - oranges, yellows, reds.
We settled in at the spa and waited for our massages. We had duo massages, so we were paired up with someone we came with (me being with Lisa, and Tara with Emma) and we had a 60 minute Swedish massage and let me tell you, it was something divine. My right quad has been a bit tender in the last two weeks, I think I may have strained it while doing all the squats and lunges that I do on a day to day basis. So I've been heating it with a magic bag in the evenings when I remember and told the Massage Therapist on Saturday that my leg was a bit tender. When she massaged it, it felt like the slight pain went up into the hip.. so I'm going to have to watch out for this and make sure it doesn't become a full blown injury where my gym life and mobility becomes affected. Must learn to listen to my body when it aches!!!!!! After the massages, we spent some time in the waters, doing hot then cold, adding in the sauna, a eucalyptus sauna (which was divine for clearing out the sinuses!) and after a couple of hours, we headed out and checked into our hotel. I've never stayed in Collingwood before (a ski-town, crazy busy in the winter, but not so much in the summer - this weekend was particularly busy my friend said, in comparison to other years) - so it was a cool and unique place to visit. We didn't get up to much other than lots of chatting, some drinking, good food and good laughs.
We got up early in the morning and then headed out for breakfast and then home. I then spent the rest of my day enjoying my time with the man and my two fur babies <3 p="">
The store had various things that were odd, funny or just adorable.. This being, odd and hilarious!
The Spa
After the spa, feeling mellow as fuck....
We settled in at the spa and waited for our massages. We had duo massages, so we were paired up with someone we came with (me being with Lisa, and Tara with Emma) and we had a 60 minute Swedish massage and let me tell you, it was something divine. My right quad has been a bit tender in the last two weeks, I think I may have strained it while doing all the squats and lunges that I do on a day to day basis. So I've been heating it with a magic bag in the evenings when I remember and told the Massage Therapist on Saturday that my leg was a bit tender. When she massaged it, it felt like the slight pain went up into the hip.. so I'm going to have to watch out for this and make sure it doesn't become a full blown injury where my gym life and mobility becomes affected. Must learn to listen to my body when it aches!!!!!! After the massages, we spent some time in the waters, doing hot then cold, adding in the sauna, a eucalyptus sauna (which was divine for clearing out the sinuses!) and after a couple of hours, we headed out and checked into our hotel. I've never stayed in Collingwood before (a ski-town, crazy busy in the winter, but not so much in the summer - this weekend was particularly busy my friend said, in comparison to other years) - so it was a cool and unique place to visit. We didn't get up to much other than lots of chatting, some drinking, good food and good laughs.
We got up early in the morning and then headed out for breakfast and then home. I then spent the rest of my day enjoying my time with the man and my two fur babies <3 p="">
Loved this little store and it's quaint objects :)
The store had various things that were odd, funny or just adorable.. This being, odd and hilarious!
About to head home
We settled in at the spa and waited for our massages. We had duo massages, so we were paired up with someone we came with (me being with Lisa, and Tara with Emma) and we had a 60 minute Swedish massage and let me tell you, it was something divine. My right quad has been a bit tender in the last two weeks, I think I may have strained it while doing all the squats and lunges that I do on a day to day basis. So I've been heating it with a magic bag in the evenings when I remember and told the Massage Therapist on Saturday that my leg was a bit tender. When she massaged it, it felt like the slight pain went up into the hip.. so I'm going to have to watch out for this and make sure it doesn't become a full blown injury where my gym life and mobility becomes affected. Must learn to listen to my body when it aches!!!!!! After the massages, we spent some time in the waters, doing hot then cold, adding in the sauna, a eucalyptus sauna (which was divine for clearing out the sinuses!) and after a couple of hours, we headed out and checked into our hotel. I've never stayed in Collingwood before so it was a cool and unique place to visit.
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