Thursday, October 25, 2012

Having some discretion

So when I'm angry or upset, I have no discretion.  I just want to get it out and off my chest so that I feel better.  However, it isn't necessary that I air all of our dirty laundry and portray Jeff as being the ultimate asshole.  Quite the opposite, I'm the self-centered, selfish asshole.  I can be a hell of a selfless person most times but others, I'm selfish and I think of myself and myself alone. Why?  Well probably because I feel like at the end of the day, relationship or marriage aside, I've got to have my own back because I can only rely on myself.  But, that's turn into me being selfish and not thinking about us but more about "me".  So I need to stop that.  I need to practice to be more patient, more kind, more thoughtful, more giving, more sincere and open to conversation even if it's going in a direction that I don't want it to go. 

Having said all this, I really need to take a step back and appreciate how fortunate I am in this life.  I have love, I have wonderful friends: Marah, Danielle, Danielle, Jessica, Kelly, Sheila, Tracy... Some of the nicest, more caring individuals out there.

The below are what inspire me at this moment.  The image about Ego and the Soul is so, so true.  Seperating the ego from one's true self, one needs to recognize they are seperate from one another, but often the ego gets the upper hand.

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