Sunday, October 14, 2012

I've said this before but whatever, fuck I feel so alone somedays. I have this huge lump in my throat and hot tears run down my face..... It's as though he has no interest or doesnt care, doesn't want to hear about my day.....doesn't help out when I'm scrambling to make meals when I'm scrambling working with pet clients... Why doesn't he care? 
Doesn't he see the pure joy in my face when I tell him things and isn't it obvious that I'm happy?  Does he resent me for being happy because perhaps he's not happy with himself these days?  It's so unfair.  I work so fucking hard, only to have to defend myself or why isn't laundry done earlier?  Well, I don't see you helping so back the frig off.  Yes I'm angry and annoyed because it's because any concern I have that I voice is bullshit and deflecting from the situation at hand, ie diverting from his points and his issues that bother him about me.  I know a lot of this is my own insecurities and sure, it seems like I shit on the guy a lot, but dammit is it too much to ask to get a hand?  To maybe seem as though you're interested in what I'm saying or hearing about my day...  Just so frustrated....

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