Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Its Tuesday, but my work "Monday".. What a weekend

So I'm going to try to embrace being nicer and softer and more kind.  Why?  Because somewhere along the line where I began down this path the past year in search of more happiness, I've left J in the dust.  It's not that I don't care about him or don't love him and I think I'm finally seeing it now, even though he's told me a couple of times he's lonely.  I always balked at him even saying those words because it seemed ludicris.. How can you possibly feel alone and neglected when I'm right there?!  I guess somewhere along the line he started feeling neglected.  I didn't set out to make him feel like a pile of shit, but I think I get it now.. I see his eyes well up and it breaks my heart.  When did I turn into this psycho monster that doesn't show her hubby that I love him more than life itself.  I think we've reached a point where we're almost too comfortable with one another, we lack communication because we assume or think we know what the other is going on about and we've just taken eachother for granted.  I know I can admit to those things, whether he can or agrees or disagrees, that's his opinion.  But I honestly don't believe that I'm this awful, uncaring person that doesn't care about him anymore.  I want him to look at me with that light in his eye that he had when I first met him.. I want to see that smile or laugh..... *sigh*  I'm so exhausted today.. Needless to say the past couple of days were a bit hard and stressful. 

Nevertheless, here are some pictures of my weekend. :)


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